Miss Maddi

So I know that a lot of people will read this in my notes on facebook because my blog is connected and that's just fine, but I am keeping this blog as more of a journal for myself. I can print these pages off and have them bound and voila! My journal(of sorts). It is for that reason I write lots of these things.

My miss Madalyn is 13 years old and she is a freakin fireball!!! Oh goodness its nuts! And honestly she is so way much fun to be with! She is one of my dearest friends!We laugh, cry, yell, fight, and all of those other things great friends do! We can talk about pretty much anything and make a joke about anything! Its great to have that bond with her.
 Well since we lived in Tucson she started getting migraines. Which noone in our family has ever been diagnosed with. What a hard thing to see happening to my child! To see her hurting and to not be able to "fix it"! Rough! Since Tucson she has also been known to have a few semi fainting spells. I say semi because I am not sure she ever fully blacks out. These episodes do effect her body so much that she has to lay down wherever she is. They have become more frequent and intense in the past few months. Again, nothing prepares you for walking downstairs and seeing your child on the floor weak and unable to even hold up her head, with that helpless look in her eyes.
We decided after the second whatever you want to call this in as many months we would have it checked out by her doctor.
 He recommended that we do a cardiac stress test because of certain family history, and until then she was to sit out all physical activity due to the odd chance that she could collapse and die! Yea he said die! GULP! My kid!? My baby?My best friend?? Oh no no no! Filed THAT statement in that hidden part of the back of my brain real quick! Until today...
 We took Madalyn to the cardiologist this afternoon. Everyone joined us in the waiting room because school had already been dismissed(way nuts!) After about a half hour they called Madalyn back to the room where we would do the test. They got her all prepped with her electrodes and took her baseline vitals which were fine. And we waited some more..
The doctor came in and explained what was going to happen.
For those of you who do not know what a stress test is let me put it in my rawest Jenn term. This is the stupidest ass procedure I think exists! They basically stick you on a treadmill and hook you up to monitors while they watch you exercise and see if your heart can hack it! And if it cant?? well that is a good thing!  But don't worry the freakin doctor is there if you code! Come on people!!
So there I sat with full knowledge of everything that monitor was saying, as well as every vital taken, watching my daughter running on this treadmill, waiting for something to happen. Waiting, waiting waiting.

 Her stress test came back fine and they gave us a list of others we will have to run. And I know that with each test we run I will sit there just like I did today. Waiting and waiting for something to happen. Knowing that something is wrong, knowing that I can't fix this right now. I hate it when my children are sick or when my children hurt but most of all I hate it when I feel this helpless!I am sure things will turn out fine. I know it is probably some wacked out electrolyte imbalance or something tht can be fixed. But, in the meantime???
What a freakin year!!! Can we start January tomorrow??????